Oatmeal Cookie..., When are you getting married?

This cookie is really hitting the spot right now... There's no harm in enjoying a cookie every now again... sometimes you need a little sweetness in your life to make things better, you know? I got this cookie from Panera Bread, to accompany my Smokehouse Turkey Panini and Baked Potato Soup. On my way through the door at Panera Bread, coming out was an old high school mate that I haven't really seen since... I can't remember actually, but I recognized him right away. We kinda like had a tiny reunion at the door as the other patrons were entering and exiting, so it was a little difficult to really have small talk, aside from the fact that we were both pressed for time (lunch break). However, in that brief moment in time, I managed to congratulate him getting married next week Friday and tell him that it was good to see him. He also manages to ask me, "When are you getting married?"

Now, it could be that this is a very sensitive subject for me to discuss for various reasons, it could also be that I fear that marriage isn't the cards for me, or maybe it has something to do with my poor taste in men in general that makes the question an equivalent to a dagger through the heart that would cause me to respond, "When I find a good one... that's not gay... or already married..." Though I answered with a smile and a hint of sarcasm, I felt broken and incomplete. The way I perceived the question was, "April, you're the last single girl left on the planet, get with it already." or even like "Geez, I wonder what's wrong with you? How come you're not married?" I know [hope] that that is not how he meant it, but because of my distorted view on relationships and loneliness, that is how I understood it.

Now I'm spending my afternoon, relying on the soft, chewy goodness of this Oatmeal Cookie to help resuscitate my ego, the small amount of hope I had, on reserve, for the big 'maybe':

• Maybe I'll find a man that's right for me
• Maybe I'll marry that 'Mr. Right'
• Maybe we'll have children and build a great home and foundation for them
• Maybe I'll hurry up and get a glass of milk to help wash this cookie down, as I'm shoving it down my throat waiting for the good feeling to kick in...